To Everything There Is A Season
by Micaiah
Summary: Prequel to 10.04, Paper Moon. Dean and Sam take the Impala to the car wash. Sam's POV.


**This is a tag to my last fic, _We're Marching On_ and a prequel to the last episode of Supernatural, 10.04, Paper Moon. **

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><p>Sam lingered under the showerhead, relishing the feel of the warm water running over his sore muscles. His body ached from the weeks of punishment he had put it through and his head ached from his bout with the bottle the night before but both were better than the ache he'd felt in his heart while his brother was gone.<p>

Dean was sleeping peacefully a few doors down and Sam felt as if an overwhelming weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The Mark still needed to be dealt with but for now, Dean was home and that was enough.

"NO, NO, NO!"

Icy fear gripped Sam at the sound of Dean's cry. He quickly shut off the shower and bolted from the bathroom, dripping water as he ran down the hall. Dean's bedroom was empty.

"DEAN!"

Sam felt the familiar panic spread through him as he searched the bunker for his brother. He finally found Dean in the garage, tossing empty food wrappers from the Impala and swearing under his breath. Sam cursed himself for not cleaning the Impala the night before but he'd been too tired and he'd wanted to get back to his brother as quickly as possible.

Dean glanced up at the sound of Sam's bare feet slapping wetly against the floor.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dean threw his hand up as if to shield his eyes. "Dude, why are you naked?"

Sam glanced down, realizing he hadn't even taken time to grab a towel. "I heard you yell. I thought something was wrong."

"Damn right something is wrong!" Dean gestured toward the Impala. "Look at her, Sammy. She's a mess. Did I do this?"

"It wasn't really you, Dean."

Dean groaned. "Oh, my God, I _was_ a monster." He ran his hand lovingly over the car's hood. "I'm sorry, Baby. I'll make it up to you."

Sam tried hard to smother a smile. He knew Dean was seriously bothered by how he'd treated the car but Sam couldn't help but be amused. His brother was back.

"Would you stop your smirking and put on some damn clothes?" Dean gathered up the trash he'd cleaned out of the Impala and deposited it into a garbage can by the door. "I'm heading to the car wash."

"Hang on, I'll go with you."

Sam ambled back toward the bathroom and Dean yelled after him, "Hurry up, will ya? I don't know how much longer I can stand to look at her this way."

Sam began to laugh. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't remember feeling this light hearted in a really long time. Dean was back and his biggest concern at the moment was the condition of the Impala. After all they had been through, this seemed like a win in Sam's book and he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

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><p>When they arrived at the car wash, Dean began unloading all the cleaning paraphernalia he used on the Impala and Sam retrieved the lawn chair he'd stowed in the trunk before they left. He grabbed a beer from the cooler in the back seat and made himself comfortable. Dean may have let him come along but he was picky about how the Impala was cleaned so Sam was rarely allowed to help.<p>

Sam had one time asked Dean why he didn't just run the Impala through the automatic car wash and had endured a twenty minute lecture on all the things that could go wrong. Dean had then proceeded to explain why he never used the foam brush at the car wash because it could scratch the paint. He'd also told Sam you never knew what other people had been washing with it and he couldn't stand the thought of that. Sam had thought his brother was being a bit paranoid until they once saw a man scrubbing cow manure out of an empty trailer with one of those brushes. Dean had given him the "see, I told you" look but never said a word.

Dean was murmuring as he worked and Sam was pretty sure he was apologizing to the car. Sam used to give his brother such a hard time about washing the Impala and how particular he was with it. They'd been run off from numerous car washes because some places just don't like it when you hang around for as long as it normally took Dean to wash the car. Sam took a sip of his beer and smiled, content to watch his brother wash away the grime covering his Baby, hoping it would help Dean regain a somewhat normal feeling.

Dean was good at hiding how he felt most days but Sam knew his brother and he knew how Dean would be feeling after what happened. It would be a lot like he felt after getting his soul back. When you realize you've done some truly horrible things…it's hard to deal with….harder yet to forgive yourself and Dean had never been good at forgiving himself for anything.

Sam took another swig of his beer and noticed Dean wasn't washing the car any longer but seemed to be gazing off into the distance.

"Dean?"

When Dean didn't respond to his voice, Sam set the beer next to his chair and cautiously approached his brother.

"Dean, are you okay?"

Dean finally turned and looked at him. Sam couldn't see his eyes because he was wearing sunglasses but something about his posture had changed. It seemed as if the weight that had been lifted from Sam had settled onto his brother.

"How did you do it, Sammy?"

Sam could hear immense pain in Dean's voice.

"How did I do what, Dean?"

"When you got your soul back…how did you live with the things you'd done?"

"Dean…."

"I wish I couldn't remember but things just keep….they keep coming back to me….and I….how did you do it?"

"I had you, Dean."

Dean nodded and studied the ground for a long moment.

"You're not alone in this, Dean. I'm here for you….whatever you need."

"I don't know what I need, Sammy," Dean whispered.

"You need time, Dean…..time to heal." Sam reached for the sponge in his brother's hand. "Let me help you."

Dean stared at the sponge that was now gripped in both of their hands. It was only a sponge but right now it represented so much more, a plea for help….something Dean wasn't used to asking for. Sam knew how hard this must be for him but Dean needed to realize he didn't have to shoulder everything alone. Reluctantly, Dean let go of the sponge.

"I…I don't know if I'm ready to hunt yet, Sammy."

"It's okay, Dean. We can take some time. I think we've earned it."

They were both quiet for a moment and then Sam resumed washing the Impala where Dean had left off. Dean watched him for a few minutes before finally taking a seat in Sam's vacated chair.

"Hey, you missed a spot there, bro."

When Sam glanced up, Dean had removed his sunglasses and even though the smile on his face didn't quite reach his eyes, the smile was still something. It would take some time for Dean's soul to heal and for him to come to terms with what had happened, same as it had for him, but he would be there for his brother all the way. He wasn't going to let him down like he had in the past. Those times were over. It wasn't just time for his brother to heal, it was time to heal their broken relationship…..it was time to be brothers again.

_To everything there is a season_

_A time for every purpose under heaven_

_A time to be born and a time to die_

_A time to plant and a time to pluck what is planted_

_A time to kill and a time to heal_

_A time to break down and a time to build up_

_A time to weep and a time to laugh_

_A time to mourn and time to dance_

_Ecclesiastes 3:1-4_

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><p><strong>As always, thanks so much for reading! Comments are always welcome and greatly appreciated!<strong>


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